lowering expectations

Well my village home stay in Mochudi wasn't what I expected. I actually ended up taking a public bus back to Gabs yesterday afternoon instead of staying until Sunday. I had a long week and it was quite the experience.

All 22 of us left for Mochudi last Saturday. One by one we were dropped off at our houses. As we dropped people off we started to get into lower income areas. I was the 2nd to last dropped off. I was completely fine with living in a lower income area, but I wasn't expecting the family I lived with. The director and I knocked and finally an older lady came around the back of the house. The director left and the woman didn't say a word to me, showed me into the outer house, pointed to a bed and put my stuff down. I followed her into the house because I didn't know what else to do. She turned on the tv, said "TV", pointed to a chair, and said "sit". So i sat there and watched BTV the local channel which at this time was all in Setswana. After a while my friend Shelby came over with her sister because they lived just down the street. They took me out for a walk so I didn't just have to sit there, I was so lucky that I was placed near someone else!

that night I awkwardly sat there eating dinner with a mom who didn't speak more than a few english words (like TV, sit, come, wash) and the 2 year old grandson who was terrified of me the first night because he had never seen a white person. Luckily Tumo (the grandson/my nephew) warmed up to me and would play with me the following nights, although he didn't speak any English either.

On Sunday, I was lucky that my 25 year old sister and mother to Tumo had taken the day off. She spoke English. Although it was a very boring day of just sitting around and walking to the museum that was closed and to the shops, at least she spoke English. Unfortunately she works at a bar so she would be gone every day from 2-10 or 11pm. My days started at 6am so I was in bed before 9pm, which meant many lonely nights with ma and Tumo. After a few days I started staying at Shelbys until it got dark out then heading home (gets dark at 6pm though!).

The food was interesting. It was good when Peanut, my sister, cooked on Sunday. But one day my ma just handed me a plate of maize meal with a bottle of mayo and ketchup. Another day she gave me a bowl of rice and canned fish. I felt obligated to eat it but it was less than enjoyable. Shelby even ate chicken feet (Minoto), but luckily I didn't have to. Although they do make very good bread and the fried bread called Fat Cakes. Shelby's ma showed us how to make them our last day in Mochudi....really simple, just bread flour, sugar, salt, water, and yeast, then you work it all in and deep fry it over a fire.

One day after clinic I went to open my room but found the door stuck. Ma eventually came out and tried to help but the language barrier proved difficult yet again and we couldn't really communicate. Couldn't reach my sister at work either so i slept in this twin bed in the other room with an unlocked door until she came home. didn't really sleep all that well considering there was a bar right across the street. Peanut then told me I wasn't suppose to shut my door to begin with...but no one had told me that so how was I suppose to know?!?! I also forgot one day and managed to get stuck inside my room. At this point in the trip it was just comical because I had already pressed the wrong button on the TV and turned on the broken kitchen sink so it leaked all week. No one had told me about the kitchen sink either. One day I was about to sit down in the outhouse when I noticed a colony of ants all over the seat. Glad I looked. Unfortunately they were there all week so I had to get used to them. The night I got locked out of my room was very interesting going to the toliet when I didn't have a flashlight, luckily my phone had a little light. I also woke up on my last morning to find ants all over my bag and clothes. Even shook the clothes I was already wearing and a few dropped out. The father came home on thursday night from the cattle post but he didn't speak any English either. When we ate dinner with his nephew (who spoke a little english), the father tried to tell me I should marry his nephew. The ma and father just kinda stared at me, spoke in setswana, then the nephew would awkwardly translate a few things. yet another awkward meal.

I'm also sick of being white! We stick out even more in Mochudi because its a little more rural. By day 2 everyone in the neighborhood knew where I was staying. When we would go into town to the "mall" everyone would stare. We were in the grocery store, Spar, when a guy came up to me, told me he loved me and asked for a kiss, then leaned in to try to get one (men are much more aggressive here). My friend Sierra got "auctioned off" in a combi and these two guys said they would give 12 cattle to marry her.

on a brighter note, I was always cheered up by the kids. Many of the kids in Mochudi haven't seen white people so they would just yell Legkowa, Legkowa! (White person) they also all would say hello and how are you. one day shelby and i were playing in the yard with my nephew when all these kids started coming up to the gate and just stared at us, we were like zoo animals. Eventually we went out and were chasing them around and they were all just laughing. Another day a group gathered in our front yard and we played catch/soccer for a while. Even though many of them didn't know english, they were all happy to see/play with us and had no judgements. Tumo also took to me although I never knew what he was rambling on about.

Although I had a rough time with the language barrier, everyone we met on the streets was very nice and said Dumela, le kae? And everyone was curious about why we were visiting. And im sure my ma had the best intentions, but she rarely smiled or laughed and since she only knew a few words she always sounded short and angry. Many times I would catch her just staring at me which was super awkward.

As for clinic work, it was no different than in Gabs, but this time there was a doctor only once a week and no pharmacist so the nurses do everything. We spent the majority of our time doing vitals and sorting pills. I went in one day to see if I could help weigh babies but she just said no. Another nurse wouldn't let us in the consult room because she said she'd only be speaking in Setswana. But luckily one day I sat in with the doctor, although we didn't see anything more than a cold he at least told me about how they rotate as doctors. One day the nurses were talking about something in the morning regarding closing the clinic and missing paperwork, I tried to ask what was going on but they just said clinic stuff...frustrating when you're trying to learn! The clinic (Boseja II) also doenst collect the 5 pula consult fee, when i asked why the nursing assistant just said we don't have a system in place. So all the patients we saw were getting free healthcare.

On our last day we went with the home based care volunteers to see 2 patients. They have a garden in the back of the clinic so they can give spinach and carrots to patients, but they don't have any transport so they walk everywhere. Both the patients we saw were older men who were stroke victims. The home based care volunteers arrange transport for them so they can go to the clinic and physical therapy occasionally, and in the case of the second patient, they even performed a little physical therapy even though they are just volunteers from the community. The second case was a particularly sad story, he lost his entire left side, was HIV+, living on pension, supporting a wife, a son, and a mentally challenged daughter but struggling to get by. Many times he couldn't go to the physical therapists because he didn't have the money. He kept asking us when we were coming back to help him so it was really hard realizing that he expected something from us and we were just there to learn. At least one of the healthcare assistants who had come along to translate for us got his number to help arrange transport. Its amazing that these older women volunteer their time when they live in the same community and don't have much to give themselves. We were also quite the site...3 older women and 4 white students in long white lab coats walking down dirt roads while animals wondered everywhere.

Random thoughts...
- robot = stop light
- theater = the operating room
- beer is for men, women are suppose to drink cider (in Mochudi)
- they make traditional beer, shake shake/chibuka, in old milk cartons.
- stars were beautiful, village was LOUD
- greet everyone by holding your elbow with your left hand as you shake hands
- forgot shampoo for the week...yuck
- bathed in less than an inch of water...made me even miss baths in gabs
- miss hot water and soap!!!
- miss tp in public restrooms
- crave fresh veggies, fruits and salads all the time, sick of starches
- most people do not treat dogs very nicely, saw many groups of kids chasing and kicking dogs, also saw a dead cat on the side of the road who had been purposely driven over
- very very cold at night and in clinic, lived in my long underwear this week

My family from gabs was texting me all week and were asking me when I'd be home. It was great to feel missed and now its great being back. Took a bath w/shampoo last night and it was the best thing ever! Watched Madagascar with my sister and went to bed in my warm room! As I always say..."It could be worse" and as my dad says, "Life doesn't suck"

miss you all. camping in a rhino sanctuary on monday! Sorry for the long post.